Update on the Election

Several people have asked my opinion on the current election. But before I can go there, I must vent about our electoral system (invented by dudes wearing wigs by the way). I would wager that there are a lot of high school students whom, like many of their parents, do not understand the U.S. electoral system. I know I don’t. But most high school students of voting age, and more importantly, their parents, understand the voting system on American Idol.

I fit in the category of professionals with no children who one night turned on the television for mindless entertainment to forget about our responsibilities and got sucked into a show called American Idol like it was the Poltergeist. There was no shortage of crazy outfits and slurred speech from Paula; idiocy and fence sitting from Randy; and fantasy causing accented-filled insults from Simon. Connect the dots people – American Idol has reported 60 million viewers on a single episode. Not necessarily all of voting age, but someone had to pay for the television and the cable?

Despise AI? How about Hollywood? I do. News flash – On Aug. 10th at 1:30 am, Barack Obama ran a 30-minute infomercial on Ion Television. This is the first for a Presidential candidate. McCain’s campaign placed Barack Obama in equal celebrity status to Paris Hilton and Brittany Spears by using their images in an ad. Barack looks pretty good on film. Lastly, Hollywood is about to turn our Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice into a movie star babe. The trend is definitely to reach out to the younger crowd. Why not, old people shouldn’t be driving to the polls any way!

Here’s how the election would work. Debates would be scheduled for several weeks. Certain days will be designated for certain issues. For example, Monday-Taxes; Tuesday-war and foreign affairs; Wednesday-Abortion; Thursday-more taxes; and Friday-more war issues. (Forget social security, it will not be around much longer any way). Each candidate will have a call in number, 1-800-Not-sure or 1-800-4-Whitey. At the end of each week, there will be an elimination show with a lot of knuckle bumping and berating. It will be grand!

In all seriousness though, there will be no uncertainty as to who will win the election. There will be no elected officials making the ultimate decision for all of the population on who actually wins despite the popular vote.