Reasons my boyfriend will not talk to me

Listen up gals and guys - this is a mini crash course in women are from venus and men are from mars - or whatever the name of that book is.

Some people, not just women, like to talk. Nowadays there is a variety of virtual outlets for people to get it all out. For example, Facebook, Myspace, YouTube and much more. In fact, this subject warrants a separate blog on another day, including appropriate manners while on one of these networking websites. It's more like being in an internet bar 15 minutes before closing time. Everyone's high from instant messaging and wondering who is going to take them home tonight.

However, here, now, tonight while I sit in a swanky hotel in the middle of downtown Chicago, I'm going to provide my very own Top 10 (or 9 or 11) reasons why my boyfriend wants me to stop talking. Maybe we can all learn from this.

No. 10 - He's watching football. It doesn't matter what I say, if it does not include the word "football" I might as well talk to myself.

No. 9 - He's watching baseball. Id.

No. 8 - It's Sunday and football is about to start. Need I say more.

No. 7 - It's 5 minutes until noon on Sunday and he has to set up his fantasy football team (s), and he does not have time to get into a conversation or debate about the latest store at the mall.

No. 6 - He never wants to hear about the mall, no matter what day of the week or what time it is. (Yes, there is more substance to him than just football.)

No. 5 - He's had a long day and is hungry. Oh wait, as long as there is food involved, he will listen.

No. 4 - It's time to go to sleep. Oh wait, he's snoring, guess I can go back to talking to the wall now.

No. 3 - At the gym. When he's lifting something that is 5 times his weight, he definitely does not want to hear about my best friend's melodrama.

No. 2 - When I'm stepping out of the shower. Talking is definitely not going to be on his mind, but no matter what I say, he will think its great.

No. 1 - Did I mention while watching a football or baseball game, or any other sporting event for that matter?!

Just remember, there is always space available for free on the Internet where you can talk all day. You will not be interrupting anyone, blocking a football game on TV, or keeping anyone awake.

Carpe Diem!